How to Hold a Lady Flamingo

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Lyric

She was fourteen feet tall, squeezy and pink 
She came for a dance and she came for a drink 
She was looking for love and had come from afar 
The night the flamingo came out to the bar 

She had big flappy feet and a long, curvy neck 
But her beak was so sharp no one wanted a peck 
So she climbed on the piano and heaved a great sigh 
As the piano man's tunes brought a tear to her eye 

Now before long, the bartender, he noticed the clues 
For all of her pinkness, the bird had the blues 
So the patrons debated, in colorful lingo, 
the best way to fondle a female flamingo 

Then 'round about eight a brave lady pushed through it 
And shouted "I'll show you the right way to do it!" 
So she climbed up beside her, determined and impish, 
And hoped for her safety she didn't look shrimpish 

'Cause that flamingo was huge, but the girl knew no fears 
Blew aside the bright feathers and dried the bird's tears 
Then she cuddled up close, caressed her soft wing 
And the bird was so happy she started to sing 

There were honks, there were squawks, the commotion was awesome 
And feathers rained down like May cherry blossoms 
Until, in the end, while the piano man played 
No doubted, though eggless, that bird had been laid 

A sin? Yes it was, the most colorful kind 
And yet none of the patrons seemed awfully to mind 
She arrived a sensation, she went out a star 
The night the flamingo came out to the bar